The First Glitch
by flaretempest
Summary: The origin of glitching and hacking in the Pokemon video game series. Oneshot.


"MAGGOTS! YOU'RE ALL WORTHLESS MAGGOTS!" screeched Phil at the top of his lungs, his cheeks so blue they would have put a suffocating marill to shame. Before Phil lay six pokemon. Or what used to be pokemon; they were so deformed it was impossible to tell.

One appeared to be an Ursaring, but its arm muscles were huge and disproportionate to the rest of its body. As if looking like a cartoon wasn't bad enough, the poor creature's flesh was covered with hives, each as large as a fist. Several containers of vitamins lay empty on the ground around the motionless pokemon.

"COME ON! Ursaring, GET UP!" Phil shouted, but to no avail. "FINE, be a wuss. If you can't stand having vitamins shoved down your throat, then you don't belong on my team!"

Phil walked over to his next pokemon. This one was sitting next to a huge pile of items, rocking back and forth and mumbling to itself. In its hand was a single Razor Claw.

Phil knelt down until he was at the creature's eye level. "Weavile," he began gently, "I know the Razor Claw is your favorite, but if you to truly be the greatest you must be able to hold _all_ of these items," he said as he gestured over to the mound of hold items. Then he smiled sinisterly. "SO GO GET THEM!" he shouted, and he heaved Weavile bodily into the pile, sending items everywhere. Weavile lay still.

"FINE! I don't need you, either! I've still got one more!" Phil declared as he walked over to the last pokemon, a Torterra.

The Torterra was standing motionless, staring at a rock with enough intensity to melt it. Phil chuckled. "So, I see you still haven't managed to learn it yet?"

He got no response.

"Well, TOO BAD! You're going to stand there and stare at rocks until you learn flamethrower. AND HURRY UP ABOUT IT!"

Still, no response.

"Whatever, stupid turtle," he grumbled as he turned and walked into the sunset, leaving his pokemon behind. "I've still got a backup plan."

* * *

Phil stood concealed behind a boulder, waiting. He was standing at the bottom of a deep gorge, almost deep enough to qualify as an abyss. The scant moonlight that made it down to the bottom cast eerie shadows on the walls, and there was complete silence.

Suddenly, the gorge was lit by an intense white light. Phil put up his arms to shield his eyes, and when he lowered them, he saw that a small figure had appeared in the gorge, scarcely ten feet away.

Phil stealthily crept out from behind his boulder and reached towards the figure, but before he could grab, it turned to face him and spoke.

"Phil, you have been very bad. You were terrible to your pokemon. You were terrible to your family. Quite frankly, you've been terrible to every living being on this planet," said the figure. "And as Mew, it is my duty to stop you."

Phil cackled. "You can't stop me! It is against your laws to hurt me, or anyone, for that matter! What could you possibly do to me?"

Mew thought for a moment, and then replied with a grin on its face. "Why, I'll give you a game to play." And with that, Mew disappeared in another flash of light.

Paul raised his arms to shield his eyes once again, and when he lowered them, he saw that where Mew had been was now a tiny box about the size of his hand. The box was grey, but it had two purple circles on it; they were emblazoned with letters that Phil did not understand. He was intrigued. He picked up the box and examined it. It didn't seem to do anything. Paul tried pressing the purple buttons. Those didn't do anything. He tried tapping the box. Nothing. In frustration, he shook the box, sliding his thumb along the side of it as he did shook. Amazingly, the box did something.

A small frame of light appeared on the front of the box. Paul leaned in closer. The light appeared to be coming from behind a glass screen. On this screen was one word: Pokemon.

Paul was curious. He pressed one of the purple buttons. Something on the screen moved. He pressed it again. Something moved again.

_

* * *

10 years later…_

Mew was flying through the sky, surveying the vibrant world around herself. Everywhere she looked, she could see humans and pokemon living together in harmony. Then, she flew over a familiar-looking gorge. As she hovered over it, she heard a faint voice drift up: "Torterra, use flamethrower!" and then "Aw, yeah! Infinite damage! Suck it, Red!"

Mew smiled. Yes, everything was in harmony.


End file.
